Not just “getting through it”

It’s taken me four babies to finally realise something.

No one is to blame, but the words people use have a powerful and lasting effect on a first-time mum.

When I was pregnant with Chance, and shortly after he was born, I was warned about the first six weeks. And then the following six weeks.

I was pretty much told the first 12 weeks, or the “4th trimester” as it’s sometimes referred to, are really hard work, and I just had to “get through” that time and things will get easier after that.

I’m here to tell you that this time around, I’m not just getting through those first 12 weeks. Because my goodness they are 12 of the most precious weeks to experience and savour in a baby’s life.

There were so many times with Chance and Quinn in particular that I just knuckled down and pushed through without stopping and realising how much I adore the newborn infant baby phase. Like seriously, I can’t get enough of this.

Look at that face. My beautiful Julius Becker is one week old today. It’s nothing and it’s everything. He is already such a huge part of our lives and has taken over our hearts.

So yes, the nights are interrupted by feeds, but also full of cuddles and snuggles. This is just a season of his life and I intend to savour every moment of it.

My quiet sleeper

I really had no idea what a comfort a noisy sleeper could be. When Darby was born and was in the bassinet next to me I could hear him through the night, snuffling and grunting away. He would fidget and move around a lot and it was a constant reassurance that he was, in fact, okay.

My little Julius is the most quiet, still sleeper I believe I’ve ever had. You really have to look hard at him to see his tummy gently rising up and down, and he doesn’t make a sound.

Utterly angelic and sweet but hard on the new baby mum nerves. Yes I’m surprised as well, that even fourth time around I’m constantly checking if he’s still breathing. It’s what we do!!!

He really is such a delight. Sleeping a lot (thank you mild jaundice!) feeding well and settling well. So far… Who knows what’s around the corner. So for the time being I’m just enjoying it and soaking it all in.

Home again

Oh my heart. Having a baby is such a wildly emotional experience. The high and pain and doubt and excitement and fear and everything in between that you feel is utterly exhausting. Add to that sleep depravation, hormones, and healing wounds, and you get a mixed bag of crazy that is a new mum taking her baby home. Having done this three times already, I did prepare myself a bit better this time around, and even though I’m still feeling the huge surges of emotion, I’m so far not feeling overwhelmed by them.

The other thing I’m contending with is that I’ve lost my voice. Everyone in the house has had a horrible chesty cold over the last 2 weeks and it was my turn to come down with it on Tuesday. I think that, as well as sucking on the gas during labour, have contributed to me completely losing my voice this morning. And that in itself is exhausting! I’m down to a raspy whisper which makes the kids whisper as well which is hilarious.

I was really looking forward to coming home today and I’m definitely glad to be back in my own bed, in my own home with Hubs and the kids and mum. The kids are completely in love with Julius and constantly ask for cuddles which makes me burst.

I’m still not quite sure what life with four kids is going to look like but I’m excited by the possibilities.

Bring it on.

So many beautiful good times to come!

Tomorrow is D-Day

8am I’ll be rocking up to maternity and be asking them to kindly remove this baby from my uterus.

It’s different this time around in that I haven’t known a week in advance that I’ll be having the baby, fully knowing I wouldn’t go into labour on my own any time before. With Darby we took it day by day until I’d had enough and then it took slow intervention and two days for Darby to join us.

This time will be much quicker – I believe they will break my waters, hook me up to the drip and away we’ll go. And that is actually fine because I am so done.

I’m done with the insomnia, the leg twitches, the pelvic pain that makes it near impossible to roll over in bed or get up out of bed or from any kind of lying down or seated position. I’m tired of the heartburn, of the bladder punching, and to be honest, of not knowing the gender!

I guess what I’m saying is I really can’t wait to meet this little bugger ahem bubba.

Literally hours left! Woot!

Small pleasures

Yep. Still here. Still in one piece. Wondering what I would have to say/do for maternity to induce me. Immediately. I really am done. Even with Darby I was all “yeah I’m okay. Let’s just wait and see.” I’ve waited. I’ve seen. I’m not going into labour on my own. Let’s just get on with this thing.

It’s not all bad though. I have found myself with another child-free morning thanks to Mum being here. Let me tell you I’ve been taking full advantage of any child free time I am gifted. Mainly by going out for a coffee. All by myself. And maybe adding a cake of some sort to the order as well.

It really is a special decadence that you don’t appreciate or understand until you’ve had kids and have tried to go out for a nice coffee as a family. Even when all the planets align and the kids behave themselves, it’s still a constant stream of interruptions which result in drinking cold coffee, wiping up spills, and at least one toilet run, if not five.

So here I am, coffee in hand, enjoying the slow pace of my morning, and trying to ignore the niggling sciatica pain and everything else this 40+6 pregnant body is throwing at me. Because I know that this too is only temporary and in literally a few days I’ll be holding my baby.

And that will be no small pleasure let me tell you.

Happy mothers day

Things my kids said to me today.

Darby: “Mama mama mama I got poo on my doodle.” He didn’t. I was relieved.

Quinn: “Do you know what my favourite smell is Mama? Farts. But only my farts.” Delightful.

And no new baby for mothers day for me. Though there’s still over 4 hours left of the day so you just never know. (Except I know. I do.)

Me and mine

Looking forward to garlic prawns and mussels on cous cous made by Dad. Yum!

The cavalry has arrived

Mum and Dad landed on our doorstep yesterday and I’m already feeling a bit more relaxed. Though the insomnia has certainly kicked in. I was awake from 2am til 4am this morning. Like wide awake, contemplating getting up and doing something.

I eventually fell asleep, only to be woken up again by Darby at 4:30 calling out “squishy Mr Bump!” As if requesting something of me. That kid has some weird dreams let me tell you.

Then Hubs’ crossfit alarm woke me up at 5:30. Yeah Hubs is doing crossfit now.

Anyway wah wah wah. Had my 40 week (+3) appointment today. My induction is booked in for next Thursday. Unless I go into spontaneous labour before that.


Obviously I can’t see that happening. So yeah another week. Let’s do this thing!

10 things on the 10th

Due today!

Reflections on my fourth pregnancy; the good, the bad and the ugly.

1. Itchiness – if there was one thing I could have absolutely done without this pregnancy it would be the hormonal itch on my arms. It was just torture. Some evenings I’d be beside myself with that under-the-skin itchy feeling that had no relief. The last month it has really calmed down but for about 4 months solid it was horrendous.

2. Fitness – I’ve never been particularly fit going into a pregnancy but this time I was all over it and it really has made a difference I feel. I also hope it helps in my recovery and even though I haven’t been able to attend fit mums since 34 weeks I feel stronger than I have in previous pregnancies. Can’t wait to get back!

3. Food – look it hasn’t been great but I’ve done my best. I’ve definitely been treating myself, particularly this last month, but I’m okay with that. I do notice my energy levels waiver when I’m eating rubbish so I need to address that sooner rather than later.

4. Pelvis – my pelvic area seriously loosened up about 6 weeks ago and is definitely ready for a baby to come on through. I just hope it comes good after all is done and dusted!

5. Baby movement – this one has been a doozy. Each subsequent baby has moved more than the previous, I’m guess each one had more room to kick around in than the one before. But this one is ridiculous. It really “comes alive” in the evenings and gives me such a hard time! It’s both lovely and nauseating at the same time. It’s definitely one of my favourite things about being pregnant.

6. Pelvic floor – this gave way the minute I became pregnant. It’s how I knew without even taking the test. Bloody hormones. I’m really really hoping this bounces back after birth as well!!

7. Hormonal swings – you’ll have to ask Hubs about this. I haven’t noticed it much to be honest. Ha ha.

8. Exhaustion – yeah this set in about 6 weeks ago, hence me having to give fit mum’s away for the time being. This baby really is sapping every energy store out of me. And I know it’ll get worse before it gets better.

9. Luscious hair – I’ve always cut my hair short around baby time but this time I have quite long, thick luscious locks and I’m seriously loving it sick!

10. Libido – speaking of good…. Again you’ll have to ask Hubs about this, but a gentleman never tells 😉😉😉

Come on baby. Time to meet you!